


all I ever wanted

by agentcalliope



Series: this will still be so [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Apologies, Canon Compliant, Confrontations, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Male-Female Friendship, Trauma, actions have consequences, spoilers for the movie The Prince of Egypt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 07:45:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14351040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentcalliope/pseuds/agentcalliope
Summary: Fitz and Daisy talk about how they feel, and what they want.





	all I ever wanted

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is a lot like another fic I wrote about Daisy and Fitz watching Moana. You do not need to read that one to understand this.

* * *

 

He knows that sound, knows that melody. Knows the lyrics that follow, knows the story. Knows that if he follows it, he will find her.

 

He looks over at Jemma, and she gives him a small smile, placing her hand on his cheek. She nods, and then walks away.

Fitz walks away, too. But he walks to where the sound of a trumpet has become the drums, the cello, the violin and the violas, and the voices.

He makes it to the common room just as the chorus crescendos, but he pauses at the entrance. Her back is to him, but he has no doubt that it is Daisy sitting on that couch, watching _that_ movie.

 

Before he can convince himself not to, Fitz clears his throat.

The screen goes still, and, slowly, Daisy turns her head to look at him.

She _stares_ at him, actually. And he stares right back at her.

“Heard it from the kitchen.” Fitz breaks the silence first, motioning over his shoulder. “Couldn’t remember where it was from, and I  was just curious.”

That was a lie, of course. From the opening note, faint but clear from where he was, Fitz knew exactly what song it was. And, as he watches as Daisy’s eyes narrow, he can tell that she knows that, too.

“Okay.” Fitz says, nodding, clasping his hands together. “Um, Daisy—”

She’s already turned around and restarted the movie from the very beginning, the trumpet playing its notes once again.

“You can either shut up and stay, or you can leave.”

 

He shuts up, and he stays.

 

And they watch _The Prince of Egypt_ , together, for the first time in a long time.

 

* * *

 

By the time Moses figures out what the Egyptians have done, Fitz has figured out that the chair he’s sitting on is too firm, too hard. It’s making him wish he had looked for another chair instead of grabbing the first one he found. It’s too stiff, too uncomfortable. At least, he tries to convince himself that it’s the chair, and not the way Daisy’s sitting with her arms crossed, body tense, and practically radiating with agitation.

On the screen, the Pharaoh tries to justify murder to his son, who should’ve died with the others.

 

_Sometimes, for the greater good, sacrifices must be made._

_Sacrifices?_

_Oh, my son. They were only slaves._

 

They both continue to watch, silent.

 

* * *

 

 

And then comes the Plagues.

And then Fitz wonders how long it will take for Daisy to say something, anything. This was one of their favorite movies, but  when they would watch before,he would be sitting right beside her on the couch, not off to the side in an uncomfortable chair.. Their hands would be holding mugs, and their bellies would be full of hot chocolate, except now his hands are empty and his stomach feels hollow.

 

_Once I called you brother. Once I thought the chance to make you laugh_

_Was all I ever wanted._

 

Before them, Moses watches as Ramses turns away, refusing once again to let the Israelites go. And with sadness etched on his face, Moses is forced to send another plague on what was once his home, and his family.

 

_And even now I wish God has chose another, serving as your foe on his behalf_

_Is the last thing that I wanted._

 

Fire rains down upon Egypt.

Yet, here, all Fitz can feel is the cold.  


Daisy finally pauses the movie right before Ramses responds to Moses, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees. She exhales loudly, then turns to look at him.

He knows exactly why she’s paused it at this moment. Fitz doesn’t need to watch it again to know how it goes, and he knows that Daisy doesn’t need to, either.

 

“It’s so messed up.” Daisy says, her words sharp and clear.

_You who I called brother._

“They loved each other.”

_How could you have come to hate me so?_

_“_ But not anymore.”

_Is this what you wanted?_

“Moses just wanted his people to be free,” Fitz says. “He did what he had to do.”

 

Daisy laughs, and he knows it’s the kind of laugh that’s not really supposed to be a laugh at all. “Are you trying to compare what you did to me with Moses saving his people from slavery?”

 _Is this what you_ _wanted?_

 

_Is this_

_what you_

wanted?

 

 _Never,_ Fitz thinks. _How could I have ever wanted this?_

 

“Remember when you made me watch Moana?”

Daisy blinks. “Yes. Why?”

“You wanted me to see how the earth goddess got her heart removed, and became a lava demon, but she didn’t need the heart returned to be good again.” He closes his eyes, and he remembers. “That even though she’s done horrible things, it didn’t make her the monster. You showed it to me because you wanted me to know that even though I’ve caused destruction, I’ve caused beauty, too. Only I can choose what I do in the future.”

Fitz leans forward, presses his hands onto his eyes, and tries to convince himself that the only thing he deserves is to breathe.

“Well, I did. I chose. I became the monster.”

Fitz makes himself look her in the eyes. She deserves that much, at least. “I did what I thought, what I still believe, was the right thing to do. But hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Daisy says without hesitating. “You still did.”

“Yeah.” Fitz says without hesitating. “I know.”

She leans backwards, grabs a pillow from the couch and holds it against her chest, hugging it tightly.  She squeezes her eyes shut.

“I can’t ever forgive you.”

“Okay.”

Daisy’s bottom lip juts out, and she brushes a strand of hair out of her face with shaking fingers. Fitz shifts in his stiff seat, gripping the sides. He’s been next to Daisy for a long time, and he knows that she’s about to break. Fitz blinks back his own tears, and fights the urge to rush over to her and hold her close.

 

He doesn’t want to remember what happened the last time he touched her, but he forces himself to anyway.

 

“I started this. Our downfall.” Daisy begins to cry. “I hurt you when I was under Hive’s control, and then I left. That was before anything else. It’s _my_ fault we ended up like this.”

Fitz stands up, reaches over and grabs the remote. Daisy wipes her eyes with her palms. He fast-forwards through the movie until he gets to where they both need to be.

 

_You were always getting me into trouble. But then— you were always there to get me out of trouble again._

_Why can’t things be the way they were before?_ Ramses says, his hand on his brother’s shoulder.

 

Fitz hits pause, and chooses his words carefully.

“I was always going to be there for you, and you ran instead. I didn’t understand that. How you would rather run than to let us help you—let _me_ help you. I didn’t understand that for a long time. And it hurt.” He takes a deep breath. “But I don’t blame you for what you did under Hive’s sway. You were brainwashed. I did what _I_ did, and I wasn’t brainwashed.”

Daisy doesn’t respond.

 

Fitz starts the movie again, and he walks back to sit in his chair when Daisy shifts over to the edge of the couch. He hesitates, looks at her, and as she nods slightly he sits down beside her.

He makes sure to leave just enough space between them.  

 

Together, they finish the movie. And as Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey sing over the credits, Daisy looks over at him with puffy eyes, her face red and blotchy.

“I don’t want us to end up like them. Like Moses and Ramses.”

He knows exactly what she means.

“Me neither.”

 

She turns to look at him.

“I can’t forgive you.” Daisy says, for the second time that night.

“I know.”

“I still need time.”

“I know.”

 

She stares at him, and he stares back.

“Maybe tomorrow we can watch another movie.” Fitz finally says. “I’ll make hot chocolate.”

Daisy softly smiles. “I would like that.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you SO much to leah for the advice and Lindsay for the beta!!!


End file.
